Being Young and Female

This is a tribute piece to every female, especially young female professionals, in celebration of Women's Month. 

"Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women." - Maya Angelou

Back in 2016 when I drafted this, I was then a 28-year old wide-eyed civil servant and needed to work with a lot of people twice my age. I had the privilege of working with tenured finance experts who were around my parents' age. I also had the opportunity to lead multi-generational teams. Guess you could say that it was a real challenge but nonetheless very formative. As my way of joining this annual celebration of womanhood, here's my own piece on coming to terms with being young and female.

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I came across an article on Elise Stefanik, a Republican congresswoman elected at the age of 30. As short as the writeup was, it resonated so much with me as I often find myself being the youngest and, although thankfully not the lone female, but nevertheless in the minority during meetings. I recalled many feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt, as if I have no right to be on that table. On bad days, I would be haunted by thoughts of "being found out", that my thoughts are mere illusions without any substance in them. Later in life, I would learn the term for this - imposter syndrome, which is more commonly experienced by women. 

Do I still experience this? At times, yes. But I'm very grateful for all the support I received from many different people - men and women alike. They gave me opportunities, lifted me up, and helped me connect with parts of myself so I can ignite my light for others. So what's a girl to do in finding her way in this big, big world?

 

1. Leverage both your age and gender in adding value. 

An advantage of being different from others is exactly that. You're different. Your thoughts will be shaped by a different perspective, fired by a new sort of energy, and fueled by a hopeful optimism. They say we're always trying to push boundaries, right? Sure, their wisdom will tend to temper your crazy random idea but never underestimate what your crazy random idea can spark in them. 

2. You have something to bring to the table. 

It can be hard to come confident thinking that you're not yet an expert in the issue. Go back to your strengths, values, and your experience. The greater your self-awareness, the greater your understanding and your power. It stands for something. 

3. Do your homework. 

You can't wing it all the time. Do your research, learn from others, and keep growing. In this age of information, there really is no acceptable excuse anymore not to learn. I love this quote from William Yeats, "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." 

 

4. Find your tribe. 

I'm so blessed to have had the opportunity to learn from and lean on both female mentors and amazing peers. They keep me grounded and inspire me to just keep trying every day while holding out space for the real me. To be female is still not easy these days. Society puts both spoken and unspoken pressure and expectations on us. I really believe in the power of communities where females can journey together and support one another. 

 

5. Learn from peers. 

A friend wisely told me years ago, there's always something to learn from others. There's always a two-fold temptation - to be too comfortable listening that you forget to speak up or to be enamored with your own voice that you stop listening to others. So don't shy away from what others have to say even if it's different from yours. Do pick their brain from time to time. Sharpen each other’s saw, ‘ika nga. Keep a mind open enough and a heart generous enough to learn and share knowledge.

 

6. Embrace your femininity!

I must confess that I struggled with my femininity because I used to view our inherent 'softness' as a weakness. The way we have been designed by God is His gift to us - to help us fulfill our God-given mission, not to limit us. This is a beautiful gift that we can share to the world. In St. John Paul II's Letter to Women, he wrote,

"Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic."