A little sequel to my Cannonball entry (which, btw, was published 2021).
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| Photo credit: Ignatius 500 website |
To the uninitiated, the cannonball moment refers to the time in the life of St. Ignatius when a cannonball shattered his leg which needed him to convalesce for quite a stretch of time and which spurred his conversion. This was the subject of a daily reflection a few days ago - what moment of your life made such an impact in your life?
It got me thinking about the times I got sick in the recent months. In a span of less than a year, I was down and out of commission for at least a total of one month. People who know me well will say this is *very* uncharacteristic of me. I dealt with two bouts of Covid-19 (both symptomatic!) and a bad case of food poisoning. Thankfully, there was no need to get hospitalized. Although it was so bad that there were days I literally had no energy to respond or check anything because both body and brain just shut down.
I felt so helpless in those moments and really had no choice but to surrender myself to the hands of God, and learn to trust in His care and providence. Of course He came through (as He always does!) with a strong but quiet assurance that He has me in his palms.
I cannot honor my family and friends enough. My mother - who took care of me and catered to my whims. My father - who helped me with work-related matters. My sister - who I know I can depend on anytime. Dear relatives and friends sent their prayers, get well messages and care packages my way. My independent soul never felt as vulnerable and loved at the same time. <3
This cannonball moment taught me to trust enough that I have prepared my team to hold the fort when I'm not around. They were very sweet with their messages and gestures of support. I'm proud to say that they managed well and I honor them, together with other work colleagues, as well for being so understanding and supportive.
It is unnerving to be vulnerable and reveal a side of yourself when you do not have full control (then again, when are we ever in full control of everything?). This period in time highlighted who and what matters in my life. In a state of weakness, God granted me the grace to open my heart to receive His love through the people surrounding me. It was nothing short of overwhelming to allow myself to be loved just because. And it taught me that I can freely give love too just because. Simply amazing how much grace God can pour in our lives in whatever state we are in.
As I frequently assure others, God meets us where we are. I pray that in your own cannonball moment, you will feel God's love and grace.
Be blessed always.
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